Centerfield

I've been thinking about locking my 4 year old daughter in the attic. This clinches it.

My extended family has plenty of stories of fathers and brothers who would "just happen" to be cleaning their shotguns and rifles whenever a young man would pick up a daughter or sister for a date. Worked wonders on keeping the young men in line.

Don't lock her up, Todd, get her some training. My oldest is in her second year of martial arts and loves it. At home, Daddy is teaching her some tricks she won't acquire in the dojo, as becomes appropriate for her age and maturity and training level. She'll make her own decisions and mistakes (didn't we all?) but the fool who thinks they can push her around is in for some very painful lessons in "respecting others." He might even survive them.

No means no, and any man who refuses to accept that, by force or emotional pressure, is not worth being given the time of day, let alone a blow job. If she "cannot get out of sex", the boy needs a knee, not a mouth, to his groin.

With immediate follow-up "treatments" to assure ongoing incapacitation lasting at least long enough for the woman to leave the vicinity for a safer environment and/or contact law enforcement, as appropriate. And to ensure proper respect for others in the future.

Yeah, Pat, that's a classic. I like Bill Yngval's line. "Son, that girl is my pride and joy. You WILL treat her with respect. Understand that I got no problem with goin' back to prison...."

Warning: The following contains frank discussion about movie promotion, using blunt terms. Read at your own risk.

When you talent is starting to sag and you really need free publicity for your dog of a movie to prevent your career from falling into oblivion, say something outrageous, ridiculous, and offensive.

Here's the thing. As soon as you act upon your own basic instinct as a fair-minded person to engage Stone's views on their merits, she wins. Basic Instinct 2, opens in theaters when, this Friday? Every extra person that knows this is potentially another dollar in this desparate, pathetic hag's pocket.

Gotta disagree with that one, Brian. I was generally a Stone fan, and was looking forward to going to the new movie, as so much drivel has been on the market this year. Not now. By the by, that's my biggest gripe with celebrities pushing their social and political views. It distracts from the movies and makes it harder for me to "suspend my disbelief" long enough to really get into the movie.

Tully, the subtle insertion of the word "back" in that sentence is what really makes it a classic.

Guns can deter suitors in other ways, too. My aunt was once picked up for a date at our house, when I was about 5 (she often babysat me). I was running around acting like a boy my age, playing with a cap gun or water pistol, or maybe my G.I. Joe. Her date was such a peacenik and so horrified by the sight of me with (GASP) a toy gun, he never asked her out again... She obviously came from a family far too warlike for his tastes.

Amen Pat and Brian. Sheesh! As if it isn't hard enought to raise daughters. Not that my daugher or many others probably know who the hell Sharon Stone is.

I just want to know what teenage girls Sharon Stone is giving advice to? And why would they be asking her for advice? Maybe it's unsolicited advice, like, "I remember when I was a really sexy movie star and people actually watched my movies . . ."

I remember having "The Talk" with the father of my high-school girlfriend. He was an ex-Marine, mild mannered and soft-spoken. He took me into his den where the gun cabinet sat, and where a few dead animal heads looked down on proceedings from their mounts.

He simply told me that his daughter was a big girl and a free agent, but that he expected ME to exercise good sense and manners and deportment as well, and if I thought that her being free to make her own decisions meant I could take any unwanted liberties or treat her poorly or lead her into stupidities, etc., then I should think twice, as there was always more room there on the wall.

I don't know that he changed my attitude any, but he sure helped reinforce it. My own parents had much the same views, so it wasn't a stretch.

LOL, Marc. Actually, in the article, Stone went up to some teenage girl who was out shopping with her (the girl's) mother. Stone somehow or other sent the mother on an errand, then pounced on the girl to give her this unsolicited advice.

Ah, Tully... when parents were parents.

This seems like an extremely idealistic and naive post to me. Yes, in the perfect world, every girl will have the strength and fortitude to say no when they aren't 100% comfortable having sex... but that's not how it works. A scary percentage of people are not strong enough to resist peer pressure of such magnitude, in my experience.

While seemingly outrageous, I think Stone's comment is unfortunately far more in touch with the reality of youth culture than the (mainstream) blogosphere.

Well, Justin, if we tell the girls up front that sometimes there will be situations in which they should just do something sexual they don't want to do, will that increase or decrease the chances of them finding themselves in such a situation? If we tell the boys that it's ok, that if you put enough pressure on their girlfriend they are increasing the chances of getting at least a blowjob, is that a good message to send to the boys?

Well, some kids are going to smoke no matter what, so let's tell them to be sure and pick a low-tar brand, with a filter! There's a good message to send the kids. Hey kids! Don't want to smoke crack? Tell the local dealer you only want to smoke pot, instead. Wow.

Stone's message is: "succumb to peer pressure, just not quite all the way." I have more faith in our children than she (or you) do. To the extent "youth culture" requires teens to succumb to sexual peer pressure, I think that's a result of parents not being parents, not teaching their kids right from wrong.

And note that I am not talking here about a MUTUAL decision to have sex. Two teens who both want to have sex? That's life, and I didn't write about that. I'm talking about a situation where a girl is being pressured to do something WHICH SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DO. That's wrong, period. Always.

What makes this so ridiculous is that this goes against the very core impulses of women's empowerment that Stone ought to embrace. Young girls should placate their boyfriends with sex? What nonsense is this? Is she joking?

Way to contribute to the corrosion of the culture, Ms. Stone.

Thank you, Rafique. I knew you would show up with a sane comment to offer.

Anything I can do to help, Pat.

Well, as the only hen in this chickenfight (thought I was going to use the "c" word, didn't you? Ha!) I can say that the "Be a Lady/Do The Blow" advice has been around a lot longer than Sharon Stone.*

Back in the day when you had to be V to get the Ring, a BJ was one way to keep your datebook filled and wear white to your wedding. Nowadays, it's one way to keep your datebook filled and avoid pregnancy, AIDS, etc.

Besides, most women on dates aren't exactly dressed for a cross country marathon. They wear dresses, high heels, pantyhose, etc. If your date starts getting aggressive (as Bugs Bunny said "Do all you girls have to go through this?" Yes, Bugs, we do.), then it's better to offer something personal rather than get a ripped dress at best and a night in the hospital at the worst. (Besides, once his fly's unzipped, it's easy to shove him over, kick off your heels and run.)

Thus ends Prof. Blue Jean's 101 course on Self Defense And Self Reliance. What is based on personal experience and that of friends is confidential. If you have any questions, keep them to yourselves. :-O

And where does Brian get off calling her a hag? Bet he doesn't call a fifty year old actor an "old coot". ;-)

You can call me an "old coot" if you like, Jean, though I've a few more years yet to fifty. :-)

As I said, mess with my kid and you better hope you're on her good side. Another few years of training and she'll be able to kick dear old decrepit Dad's ass, despite a fair size/mass differential.

And yeah, the "let him unzip and THEN take him to pieces" strategy is on the lesson list for the future. Her decision--but she WILL have the tools to be able to "exercise her options." With prejudice. I insist.

BJ lowers your odds of adverse effects but does NOT eliminate them. Condoms and abstinence and "manual satisfaction" still rule in that regard.

Jean, I do agree that if the girl feels either the one or the other is going to happen regardless of her wishes, then yes, the BJ is a good choice. But that's rape. If the only pressure is peer pressure and emotional pressure, though, that's a different story.

Now, if the girl WANTS to have some kind of sex, but remain a technical "V", then yes, a BJ is a valid option, though I remain agnostic as to whether God will honor the technicality. But the phrasing that Ms. Stone put on it was "when you cannot get out of sex". I know of way too many teenage girls who are sexually active in some way not because they want to but because it is "expected". That's what I object to about Ms. Stone's statement; it furthers that perception.

LOL! Aww, you'll never be an old coot to me, Tully, as long as you're young at heart. ;-) You're right, of course, that a BJ doesn't eliminate your chances of catching disease nearly as well as abstinance, etc, but it does work as well for preventing pregnancy, which is what most girls that age are concerned with. (Besides, when one is in high school, one is immortal. Is this a dumb attitude? Yes, but most teens have it.)

In a perfect world, Pat, guys would never expect sex in return for a date (which is why I always split the tab) and I agree that forcing girls to give in to sex is rape, but there are always cases where some mutual attraction is inevitable. Sandy may love Danny, but if Danny is pressuring her, saying "Go all the way, or we're through.", then she may feel she has no choice.

Besides, in most cases, the guy is bigger, stronger, (and in my life, always drunker) than the gal is. Unless Billy Jack happens by, (or she's had Tully's lessons in Tai Kwan Do) than she may feel out of options. Legally it may be rape, but you know as well as I do, that juries are loath to convict unless the victim has been beaten black and blue.

I understand your view, and I share it, Pat, yet I'm afraid that not all men are as gentlemanly as yourself. If it was a perfect world, than what SS said would indeed be out of line, but in my view, it's sad but necessary advice.

Oh, my lessons aren't Tae Kwon Do, that's what the dojo's for! Mine are a good bit less polite and more direct.

Yeah, in a perfect world boorishness and thuggery would be instantly "rewarded." Tasering would be nice as a polite reminder, with a pepper-spray followup. Would that it were. There's a shortage of real-life Billy Jacks, and there's never one around when you need one.

And where does Brian get off calling her a hag? Bet he doesn't call a fifty year old actor an "old coot". ;-)

I just called he a hag to be mean, under my rule that if someone says something indefensibly foolish, I get to let them have it!
She actually looks awfully good for her age, though some of this is undoubtedly surgical enhancement. I don't generally consider women in their late 40s to be hags, nor even those in their 50s.

But spiritually, I think Stone is a hag. There's a bitter, cynical, vacant, used up edge to her...

Jean, I just think that the men would also improve a bit if the women stopped letting us get away with garbage like "if you really loved me, you would...".

What I'd like to promote, continually, is the refutation of the legitimacy of Danny saying "put out or we're through." I want my sisters (and any daughters I may have in the future) to say in response to that: "don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you." If all women said that, then the guys would start behaving better.

Like I say, if the young woman really wants to, that's a different story, and of the options available, a BJ is safer than full blown whoopee.

Pat

Worked wonders on keeping the young men in line.

Unless you live in a "shall Issue" CCW state then the kid is probably packed and will just show you his Glock.

Actually the now and “with it advice” is for girls to start out any relationship with a boy by saying, “Sex? Sure, I will absolutely have sex with you, after all what would be the point of “going steady”. But I insist about approaching this in an “adult” way. So before any sex takes place we need to file a pre-intercourse agreement on what our responsibilities will be in the event of pregnancy, we both need to be tested for STD’s at the county health department, after that you need to fund my birth control prescription, and then we can only have intercourse using condoms along with the birth control to make sure there isn’t an unwanted pregnancy.

Believe me, that will scare the guys off more then a gun …

Don't know about your state, Rick, but generally speaking CCW permits are restricted to 21 and older. If they're that old and I need to talk to them about my daughter, they have other problems.

Was it Rita Rudner who had that great routine about how to break up with men? "I tell them 'I love you, I want a commitment, I want to have your children'....sometimes they leave skid marks."

LOL. No offense taken, Brian. It's true she looks great; at fifty we should all look so great. It's also true that women, especially actresses, have a much shorter shelf life and far greater pressure to be attractive than men do. (Think of Michael Douglas for a sec; he's older than Sharon Stone, yet nobody thinks it's time he hung up the "sexy star" role and limited himself to playing "Gramps".)

Yes, the Billy Jacks of the world are few and far between, while the Bernards seem to be everywhere. There used to be Guardian Angels back in the 80s', but nobody hears about them any more.
Most dating women are out on our own.

I like Tully's idea of a tasar, but using one of those that can get you sued. I knew a girl in my high school who carried a switch blade around in her purse; as she said "Steal a feel and feel the steel." But she had a lot fewer qualms about cutting people than I did. When I was in college, I always yearned for a Star Trek phaser set on "stun". Because it's sadly true that if you hit a drunk date, it's a bit like shooting Mongo in Vlazing Saddles; you'll only make him mad. And if he's really drunk, he won't even feel it. That's why I always made sure there was an exit plan available, and lots of people around.

Oh, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick...you didn't get the reference from Grease? (Talk about a bad message for girls; it turns out that if you want the man of your dreams, you have to have big hair and wear black leather trousers. What a great message for the youth of America! ;-)

You don't remember the scene where Danny and Sandy go to the Drive In to do what teens usually do at drive-ins (or at least, Danny does)? And Sandy acts exactly as you'd want your sister to act; she slams the door and storms off. Since this is a fantasy, Danny, of course, doesn't hit her or cuss her out, or smear her name all over school; he sits on a playground swing and sings "Oh, Sandy."

I remember watching Grease on a VCR at a slumber party. None of the girls around me applauded Sandy; they all shouted variations of "Sandy, you idiot!" followed by ideas about John Travolta that would make Hugh Hefner blush.)

I don't know how many of the slumber party kids would give it up if push came to shove, but there were a lot of girls who would love to be in a jalopy with Danny, especially one that could fly off into the clouds. (The ending never makes it clear how Danny and Sandy turned out; I always thought Sandy ended up on welfare with three kids while Danny did a dime in the pen for armed robbery, but I'm the cynical type. Geeze, the real 50's Greasers have grandkids now. Scary)

Anyway, what I'm saying is that some mutial attraction is inevitable; female desire is usually just as rampant as male desire. I do agree that SS's words were ill chosen. Instead of saying "If sex is inevitable..." it would have been better to say "Sandy, if you're determined to have sex with Danny, make it a blow job. You don't want to end up married to a hood, no matter whether his car flies or not."