A Weblog of Centrist Voices in American Politics
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A Weblog of Centrist Voices in American Politics | |
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March 15, 2006Shake Djibouti...From Spiegel Online: A Continent Splits Apart "Normally changes to our geological environment take place almost imperceptibly. A life time is too short to see rivers changing course, mountains rising skywards or valleys opening up. In north-eastern Africa's Afar Triangle, though, recent months have seen hundreds of crevices splitting the desert floor and the ground has slumped by as much as 100 meters (328 feet). At the same time, scientists have observed magma rising from deep below as it begins to form what will eventually become a basalt ocean floor. Geologically speaking, it won't be long until the Red Sea floods the region. The ocean that will then be born will split Africa apart." "We're talking Old Testament, real 'wrath of God' stuff! Seas boiling! Forty days of darkness! The dead rising from the grave! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!"--Ghostbusters Someone please muzzle Pat Robertson before he finds out. Comments
...or even better, why not pull a pre-emptive, self-serving, Pat-baiting apocalyptic interpretation from one of our rectal cavities first? Let's beat Pat to the bunch. I'll take first try: Clearly this is a judgement of our lord God upon the divisive missionary forces seeking to divide Africa and indeed to capture Africa's spiritual force. Corrupt first-world cultures seek to replace the vigor that they now lack. God has chosen to show a violent splitting of the Earth to symbolize what American missionaries are doing by abusing Africa, and attempting to jam their religious ideology down the Africa's throats. God is signaling that he stands ready to open the Earth and swallow the interlopers. Africa's soul will be protected. Man, would I love to go shovel to shovel with a pompous, senile, windbag like Pat Robertson. Posted by: bk at March 15, 2006 02:18 PMMaybe we could convince Pat to stand in the 100 meter depression to try and imitate Moses when the Red Sea comes flowing in? Posted by: BrianOfAtlanta at March 15, 2006 03:28 PMI confess, Oberon. I couldn't resist the horrid pun, or the chance to quote one of my favorite lines from Ghostbusters...put the two together and I was doomed to write it. Brian--I like. I'll chip in for the ticket! Posted by: Tully at March 15, 2006 04:04 PMBrian, where do homosexuals fit into your rant? Can't have a good Pat Robertson-style attack without blaming something on them ho-mo-sex-uals. With your parody, perhaps you could mention the missionaries' zeal for spreading the unnatural missionary position or something... You gotta have sex in it somewhere... Posted by: PatHMV at March 15, 2006 04:12 PMOh I didn't think it was actually worth mentioning. Doesn't everyone already know about that. OK here goes: Clearly this is a judgement of our lord God upon the divisive missionary forces seeking to divide Africa and indeed to capture Africa's spiritual force. Corrupt first-world cultures seek to replace the vigor that they now lack. God has chosen to show a violent splitting of the Earth to symbolize what American missionaries are doing by abusing Africa, and attempting to jam their religious ideology down the Africa's throats. God is signaling that he stands ready to open the Earth and swallow the interlopers. Africa's soul will be protected from the catholic-inspired and fundamentalist supported conspiracy to impose the unnatural and indeed unholy missionary position. Nature shows us that rear entry is one of God's immutable laws. The missionary position is an abomination. Boy, this is so easy. and so fun. If only I could figure out a way to get paid for it just like Pat Roberston. It's good work if you can get it, Mr. Robertson. Posted by: bk at March 16, 2006 12:58 PMWasn't there something about atonal music in that Ghostbusters quote? Posted by: WHQ at March 16, 2006 02:47 PM |
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