Centerfield

I forget what movie it was, possibly "Rock 'n' Roll High School," that was set at Vince Lombardi High School, whose slogan, an alleged Lombardi quote, was as follows:

"Winning is better than losing."

What's more illuminating than that, if you're looking for predictive value?

Posted by: bk at December 1, 2005 02:05 PM

MY team is better than YOUR team! (insert raspberry sound)

Posted by: PatHMV at December 1, 2005 02:08 PM

OK, here's one:

The extreme left and extreme right are identical at the core: both believe fervently, without reference to evidence, and utterly reject any other view.

Which is why more people go from one to the other than move from either to a more moderate position. Just like fundmentalists and atheists. Hmmm....

Posted by: wj at December 1, 2005 02:16 PM

A thousand people in the street Singing songs and carrying signs Mostly say, hooray for our side

I'm not much for flower power, but these lyrics came to mind. I'd much rather quote Napalm Death or someone like that. Oh, well.

Posted by: WHQ at December 1, 2005 02:55 PM

Partisan Politics, Organized Religion, and Professional Sports all require blind devotion to a single party, faith, or team, excluding all other viable alternatives.

What Jackasses.

Posted by: Ryan Somma at December 1, 2005 02:57 PM

illumination of the true nature of partisan politics, organized religion, and professional sports

So Tully, are you suggesting that organized religion is equal to partisan politics? Posted by: c3 at December 1, 2005 03:07 PM

I've been more than "suggesting" that for years, Chris, I've been flat-out asserting it. Do note the word "organized."

But do you have 25 words (or less)?

Posted by: Tully at December 1, 2005 03:10 PM

Thinking is hard.
Embrace the herd.

Posted by: Bob J Young at December 1, 2005 03:34 PM

I've been more than "suggesting" that for years, Chris, I've been flat-out asserting it. Do note the word "organized."

But do you have 25 words (or less)?

For the "organized religion part, sure!
Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am. Posted by: c3 at December 1, 2005 03:46 PM

I'm right. You're wrong. If you continue to be wrong, I will beat you over the head with this stick.

Posted by: Ike at December 1, 2005 03:58 PM

People are more willing to criticize their sports teams when they screw up than to criticize their party or religion when they do the same.

(Exactly 25)

Posted by: WHQ at December 1, 2005 04:07 PM

The tricky part, of course, is tying all three together, or being generic enough to be applicable to all three and still actually say something. I'm taking the Marxist approach:

"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."

What, you thought Karl Marx? You should know better.

Posted by: Tully at December 1, 2005 04:14 PM

Republicans say they are going to do nothing, and then don't get anything done... Democrats say they are going to do something, and then don't get anything done.

or

"Extremism is so easy. You've got your position, and that's it. It doesn't take much thought. And when you go far enough to the right, you meet the same idiots coming around from the left."

-Clint Eastwood

Posted by: Mathew at December 1, 2005 04:20 PM

"Those who consider the Devil to be a partisan of Evil and angels to be warriors for Good accept the demagogy of the angels."

Milan Kundera

Posted by: jim in austin at December 1, 2005 04:39 PM

How you play will only get you remembered by family and friends. And the friends...not so much. Just win baby!

Posted by: Tom Chadwell at December 1, 2005 04:57 PM

One I like, although it maybe doesn't apply to sports...

"If everyone is thinking alike then somebody isn't thinking."
George S. Patton, Jr.

More inclusive:

"What luck for rulers, that men do not think."
Adolph Hitler

If you aren't as pessimistic as I am:

"To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield"
Ulysses, Lord Alfred Tennyson

An an original though (for the cynical):

Politics, Religion and Sports are getting a group of 2 or more people together, and stiving against a percieved threat - 'them', 'they', or 'the other'

Posted by: Scott at December 1, 2005 05:08 PM

While all three have specific rules, the participants always find a justification to bend and break those rules, which is why this sentence has 26 words.

Posted by: boz at December 1, 2005 05:13 PM

"Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, political parties, nations, and eras it's the rule"

-Nietzsche

Now, gimme my no-prize!!

Posted by: Rafique Tucker at December 1, 2005 05:14 PM

A conservative is someone who wishes to continue existing evils, while a liberal wishes to replace them with new ones.

Ambrose Bierce

That's less than 25 words, and it pretty much sums up religion and politics. It's probably a misquote too, but I hope Ambrose will forgive me, wherever he is.

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 1, 2005 11:30 PM

Wandering a bit off-topic here, these are some thoughts that occurred to me while trying to distill down the essence of partisan debating styles (yes, I periodically think in haiku).

Cease your efforts; my
mighty anecdote dwarfs your
mere mountain of fact.

They did a bad thing;
condemn them! We did same, but
that was completely different!

Your loons run your show;
mine are insignificant,
way out on the fringe.

Can you believe the
evil they did? Now we have
the right to do it also.

Posted by: David Fleck at December 2, 2005 07:57 AM

David, that's way too long in toto, and all too true...beautiful.

Jean, you missed sports. But multiple entries are OK.

Boz, go to active voice and you can get it to 22, I bet.

Brian, Bob, and Pat all win concise brevity awards.

Great answers, all of 'em, folks. Keep 'em coming!

Resistance is useless. Prepare for assimilation.

Posted by: Tully at December 2, 2005 09:55 AM

I'm fed up with all the conservative bashing in this thread, you bunch of liberals!

Posted by: PatHMV at December 2, 2005 11:03 AM

Wait! I mean... I'm getting fed up with all the liberal bashing in this thread, you conservatives!

Posted by: PatHMV at December 2, 2005 11:04 AM

I've always like Ron Luciano's umpire's view of sports:

"Penalize the team that caused the problem"

That doesn't so much define partisan politics, as define my reaction to it.

To make a self-definitional rule, you might add a coda. For moderates:

"Penalize the team that caused the problem. We're not the problem."

For zealots:

"Penalize the team that caused the problem. You're the problem."

For the good intentioned:

"Let's get together and solve some problems."

Posted by: Henry Woodbury at December 2, 2005 12:04 PM

Riding to Oblivion on a horse called Chauvinism.

Posted by: PurpleMike at December 2, 2005 12:28 PM

PurpleMike needs a prize for best PurpleProse...

Posted by: PatHMV at December 2, 2005 03:48 PM

LOL! I'll give him that, Pat.

Is it anything like the Bad Sex Writing Award? ;-)

Thanks for the second chance, Tully. I hadn't realized I'd missed sports. Hmmm....in sports, as in politics, the center is where everyone wants to be...OK, that's clumsily worded, and leaves out religion...

This is harder than I thought...

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 2, 2005 05:12 PM

It's the 25 word thing. Applicable brevity is tough.

Posted by: Tully at December 2, 2005 05:23 PM

Updike deserves to win the one, since it wasn't supposed to be comedy, though Theroux took the Purple Prize...I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

Posted by: Tully at December 2, 2005 05:30 PM

Me too, but I bet Updike's wife wasn't laughing. ;-)

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 2, 2005 07:28 PM

So has the voting opened yet? If

"A thousand people in the street, Singing songs and carrying signs, mostly say 'Hooray for our side'"

, doesn't win we need more leftover hippies on this site.

Posted by: Dennis at December 2, 2005 08:20 PM

ALL the entries have been good, even the ones disqualified. How often do you have Marx and Kundera and Eastwood sharing space with Nietzche and CSNY all saying the same thing from different angles? With haiku and other original work thrown in? That's illumination for you.

It being a no-prize contest, the only real losers are those who don't play, or even read. Everyone else wins. (Socratic method on a Pabst budget...)

"Winning isn't everything, but losing sucks." --Larry Kahn

Posted by: Tully at December 2, 2005 10:34 PM

We all win? Huzzah! Especially since I can't come up with anything better than "The center cannot hold" which I stole from Yeats.

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 3, 2005 12:20 PM

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

--Franklin P. Jones

Posted by: mitch at December 4, 2005 04:49 AM

It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game...unless it's sports, politics or (organized) religion...then you have to win.

(26 words. Close enough)

Posted by: carla at December 4, 2005 12:00 PM

If you change "have to" to "must" you're down to 25....

I really like that one, Mitch.

In case anyone is missing the point of this exercise, it's to gain multiple viewpoints into what's wrong with our political system. For purely educational and centrist political purposes. Whether it's MoveOn. org or Operation Rescue. I threw in professional sports because many of the elements of fanaticism are the same across groups, regardless of the focus.

Posted by: Tully at December 4, 2005 12:12 PM

You mean we get enlightenment as a prize? And you said we got nothing!

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 5, 2005 01:01 PM

Nothing you can put on your wall, Jean, and no one can guarantee that you'll get any enlightenment out of it, eh? You might indeed get nothing at all.

Posted by: Tully at December 5, 2005 01:53 PM

Duuuuh....O.K. ;-)

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 5, 2005 05:16 PM

I found the Franklin Jones quote by accident, actually, while searching for something else. What I originally tried to find was something along the lines of (and this is me trying to sound philosophical):

Perspective is lost once your identity attaches to a group.

Posted by: mitch at December 5, 2005 05:51 PM

Fanaticism is easy, thinking is hard.

Posted by: Marc at December 5, 2005 09:42 PM

I thought it was "Dying is easy, but comedy is hard."

Posted by: Blue Jean at December 5, 2005 11:44 PM

"Extraodinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds."

Comedy is not pretty.

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