Centerfield

We now abandon you for a while to install extreme hardware on the HAL9000....

"I was gonna put in a Toyota radiator but GM had better cross-flow."

Well, it's been four hours, and still no one's biting. Therefore, I have no choice but to bring up beer. Last Generic Winter Holiday, my wife gave me a beer brewing kit and a few extra sets of ingredients for different types of beer. I read the stats on the different beers and thought they were all too weak. We're talking 3.7% ABV.

But there were recipies for other types of beer that could be made by adding extra unhopped malts, which would increase flavor and alcohol. I didn't have any of the unhopped stuff, so I decided to gamble and use two of the cans of the hopped stuff. I chose the two least hopped ones I had, namely the Englishman's Nut Brown Ale and the St. Patrick's Irish Stoudt. I threw in both yeast packets, as well as the corn sugar booster that is normally used, which adds alcohol and body without affecting flavor.

Normally, you let this stuff go in the barrel for a week before bottling, but you can let it go for up to three, which I chose to do because of the doubling of the malt and yeast.

After bottling, at which point you add some table sugar to facilitate carbonation, you let the stuff sit at room temp for a week. After that, you can leave it in the fridge to mature for a few weeks, which I also plan to do.

The big question, aside from how this stuff's going to taste, is what to call it, especially considering the historical/political ramifications of combining English and Irish beers. Maybe "IRA Disarmament Strong Ale" or "Northern Irish Protestant Stoudt." Any suggestions?

"Lobster Paddy" It'll either get you boiled or make you lie down, depending on your origins.

But how many would get it?

I put a liquid cooling system in the HAL9000 today. Seems to be functioning properly without leaks. Skipped the GM radiator and stuck with stock...

Plenty of bike work for me this weekend. Gotta figure out what it has against its second gear. It's not going there, no matter what I do.

Saw a good bumper sticker today: Republicans for Voldemort.

Best bumper sticker I've seen in quite a while read:

Madness Takes Its Toll
Please use exact change

LOL. That's like "You're driving me crazy!"
"For you, it's a short trip."

On the urban legends front, I see we don't have to worry about alligators in the sewers; it's the pythons in the Everglades. Fortunately, as this picture demonstrates, pythons are none too bright, or at least, this one wasn't.

Obviously, he/she/it never heard of Miss Piggy's Law; "Never eat anything bigger than your head."

I can see this making its way onto the food channel: Blacked Python stuffed with alligator.
Would you serve red wine or white?

...Thousands at his bidding speed

And post o're Land and Ocean without rest:

They also serve who only stand and waite.

--John Milton

No explanation right now, except to say that not all casualties of the war on terror die violently, even when they die in the line of duty.

My all-time favorite bumper sticker... seen last spring and isn't even about politics:

Stop Continental Drift

Everyone I've told about it did exactly what I did when I first saw it. Initially a mental double-take trying to understand the point and then a grin that gets bigger as the connection solidifies.

That should have read: ... as the implications solidify.

A related old favorite:

Re-Unite Gondwanaland!

The proper wine for blackened alligator or snake is red. Whites can't stand up to the spices in a good Cajun preparation. A Zin or Cab can. A full-bodied Merlot is OK too. Even a good Chianti.

Busted snake belly, stuffed with alligator and served with fava beans and Chianti. Yes, its the Hannibal Lecter cooking show!

(Tomorrow's show will be, "How to make finger food".)

LOL! "It tastes like chicken...."

Just remember...food is not to be eaten with the fingers.

The fingers are to be eaten separately.

And make sure your meal is dead before you eat it. No swallowing live six foot alligators, y'hear?

It is one thing to kill your own food. It is another entirely to kill it at table.

Hey, that's the best way to make sure it's fresh!

Fresh how? Insultingly familiar? ;-)

Well, I prefer kids who are fresh to those who are spoiled. ;-)

--Hat tip to W.C. Field, who, when asked "How do you like childere, sirn?" replied "Fried."

I'm back from my vacation, was a really wonderful cruise. Unfortunately my elderly cat died while I was away. Also a good friend broke his neck in a motorcycle accident. He has short term memory problems and difficulty reading now, but otherwise is expected to make a good recovery.

Sorry about the cat, Susan. So where did you go?

I did a 7 day cruise in Hawaii, they feed you nonstop on those things. The cat was so old I knew it had to go eventually, but it seemed too happy to go now. Good reminder of how things we take for granted can go away suddenly forever.

I know I'm a little late with this, being monday and all, but I just got back from celebrating my 21st (and golden! 21 on the 21st!) birthday in Las Vegas. No amount of movies or vacation stories can prepare you for how "Las Vegas-y" the city really is. It's a characture of itself, if you can imagine such a thing.

I can't wait to go back! ...in many, many years.

That's a good point, Susan. Well, at least he died when he was happy, and you know he didn't suffer. I hope this doesn't spoil Hawaii for you; it's one of the most beautiful places in the US.

Art; happy birthday! Are you going to give us stories? Or do we really want to know? ;-)

So have they put up a plaque for Moe Greene yet in Vegas?

Just having a chance to catch up on the Friday posts... Believe it or not, pythons are actually becoming a pretty big problem down here. Florida has a lot of swamp land and pythons love swamps. These idiots buy these things and then decide they are too big and just let them loose. It ain't so cool.

Of course, some of the gators have it coming to them. Lake Alice (in the middle of the University of Florida campus) is full of gators and they are known for snatching small dogs off the trail that runs around the lake. So, it's hard to conjure up sympathy for 'em.

I do have a great python story that I'll have to share sometime. It's funny now--certainly wasn't at the time.

LOL. They keep it in the masseuses' room, Brian...